Taking Responsibility
by lildevchick
Summary: Despite Starscream's numerous failures and treacheries against the leader of the Decepticons, Megatron still lets him live, even though he's not quite sure as to why.


Disclaimer: Don't own; wish I did.

A/N: G1; one-shot. It's often been discussed just for what reason Megatron keeps Starscream around, in almost every continuity they appear in. There's practically no reason for it, and yet Starscream continues to go on functioning (really we all know it's because the writers don't want to kill him off just yet, but still). I decided to write a fic handling why _I _think Megatron can't seem to kill the seeker. The story is written from Megatron's perspective and I hope I did him justice. I still have some trouble writing him.

Anyhoo, I hope you all enjoy this fic! Reviews are also very much appreciated!

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Megatron sat in his throne, eyes narrowed in thought, a cube of high grade held loosely in one servo. The lights were dimmed on the bridge of the Nemesis and everyone had been dismissed from their posts for the evening. Alone, the warlord found his thoughts drifting back to the Decepticons most recent failed energon raid.

Things had been going smoothly enough, or so it had seemed at the time. But the Autobots had shown up far sooner than they had anticipated and caught them by surprise. The inevitable outbreak of fighting had started in the 'Cons favor, but the Autobots quickly turned the tides. It had been Starscream and his trine's job to keep an eye out for the Autobots and give an estimate on when they would arrive on the scene. They'd been ordered to fly out and keep an eye on things and radio in with updates. Starscream had commed back his assessment, then promptly cut his connection and no amount of hailing on Megatron's part would get the traitorous jet to reply.

He'd learned only _after_ he'd beaten the scrap out of Starscream and dismissed him that he had encountered the Aerial bots and been engaged in battle and unable to determine exactly how long it would take for the Autobots to arrive. At the same time, however, he'd learned from Soundwave that the seeker had simply decided to ignore any comms Megatron sent his way, believing the plan was a terrible one and nothing he could do would salvage it. He'd presented his own ideas at their last planning session, but as always, Megatron had rejected them. Starscream's plans were good, he couldn't deny that, but they called for too many fancy battles should the Autobots arrive (and they always did), and while what he devised would secure them more energon, it would also end up sending half the Decepticons to the medbay. It wasn't a good trade off. Of course Megatron never told him this. He was the leader, after all. He did not have to deign to see fit to let those below him know _why _he chose the plans he did. The seeker had screamed and sulked like he always did when his plans were rejected and that had been that. But during the actual raid, he'd decided to allow it to fail, to make a point. To prove to Megatron that his plans were better. It only further stroked his ego when he learned that they'd retrieved only a measly third of the energon Soundwave's plans had projected. Only a small number of 'Cons had sustained injuries, thankfully and Megatron had actually bested Optimus in battle, escaping with almost no injuries to speak of. He'd only called retreat because things were starting to turn and they were horribly outnumbered. The operation had been kept small to make coordination easier.

Megatron exhaled sharply through his vents and turned his attention to his high grade. He lazily rolled his wrist joint and watched as the liquid swirled in the cube. Starscream had been an enigma to him for as long as he could remember. And that was quite a long time. He'd never really bothered to think about the why, not until that day, anyway.

He'd disciplined the seeker in the usual way, beating him to slag and then sending him off to the medbay to get patched up. He knew his Decepticons whispered behind his back about all the possible reasons why Starscream was still allowed to function and, truth be told, he often wondered why himself. He'd never been able to come up with an answer, though. But Starscream had actually decided to talk back when he'd received his punishment, an oddity that was not lost on Megatron. Normally, the jet would grovel and beg, anything to quieten his leader's rage and lessen his beating. Not today, though. When Megatron had asked him the same question he always asked, the reply nearly caught him off guard.

"Why do you continue to defy me, Starscream?" He'd said it in such a weary tone and it surely did not go unnoticed. He was growing tired of his traitorous second and maybe, that would be the day he would end the cycle they had found themselves perpetually trapped in.

He had expected the grovelling to continue, but instead, Starscream's optics turned cold and they narrowed, and his vocalizer, shaking before then, grew steady and unwavering. "Because you made me this way."

Megatron had been so unsure how to respond to that and he hated being left speechless. He'd ended the session with one last brutal kick to the seeker's midsection,hearing metal plating buckle underneath the onslaught, a deep growl escaping his lip components. Normally he would have felt good hearing the sound of those injuries being delivered, but at that moment he'd found no enjoyment in it. He'd dismissed Starscream then, but the jet was so damaged he could barely move. He had two of the Constructicons half drag the battered seeker down to Hook, just to get him out of his sight.

He turned to Soundwave and had him deliver his report, as he did after every battle or raid. When he'd learned that what he'd actually disciplined Starscream for had not truly been his fault, he'd felt a little numb. He did not like smacking Starscream around unless the jet deserved it, which he usually did. He had to admit that it had become as much a part of routine as anything else aboard the Nemesis. His momentary numbness was immediately banished the instant Soundwave revealed that Starscream had been purposefully ignoring him. Obviously, the beating was justified. It almost always was.

Unwillingly he'd found Starscream's parting words echoing throughout his processor.

"_Because you made me this way."_

With a snarl, he'd dismissed those remaining on the bridge, wanting to be left in solitude. "_I_ made you this way Starscream?" He had huffed as he sat heavily upon his throne and pressed a concealed button on the inside of one of the chair's arms. A panel retracted, revealing a cube of high grade.

And so he found himself dwelling on what his second had said to him. He would never admit just how much what the seeker had said bothered him. Rarely did something Starscream said sit so unwell with him. He was surprised that he found himself so hung up on it. And then he realized that was probably the point. Starscream had simply wanted to get inside his leader's processor. And he had. A growl rumbled deep in Megatron's chassis and anger flooded through him. He had presented with momentary weakness and because of Starscream, of all mechs. A sudden sensation on his fingers calmed him momentarily and it was only when he looked to his cube of high grade that he realized he had shattered it. The pink liquid dribbled down his fingers and onto the floor, leaving a small puddle. Bits of the glass were stuck in his joints, but they had caused no damage. They _were_ causing some mild discomfort, however.

He was going to go rinse the mess off, when Starscream's parting words filled his processor once more. With another growl, he slammed his dirtied fist down onto the arm of his throne, accidentally driving large shards of glass through sensitive wiring. He hissed at the sensation but did not mind the pain. He'd thrived on it for so long that it could never really bother him anymore. Still, he'd need the wound tended to, otherwise it could fester and his entire servo might need replacing. He rose from his seat and left the bridge. His processor still wandered, and he made the trip to the medbay in what seemed like hardly any time at all. He paused outside the door when an indignant shriek from within met his audios.

_Starscream._

The door slid open and everyone in the medbay, patients and medics, grew still and quiet, optics trained uneasily on Megatron. Everyone but a certain jet, that was.

A sneer and false modesty. "What brings you down here, _mighty_ Megatron." Starscream gestured around them to indicate the medbay. His optics trailed down his leader's frame and stopped on the injury to his servo, which was now dripping a mixture of his own energon and the high grade.

The seeker made a sound akin to a snort. "Apparently what I said got to you."

Megatron's gaze hardened. "Leave us." He snapped.

"But, my lord, your injury. I should-"

"It's fine, Hook. Leave. _Now_."

No one needed telling twice. The Constructicons and the patients (who were not so injured they couldn't be relocated temporarily) quickly exited the medbay, leaving Megatron alone with his traitorous second-in-command.

"Why, leader, if you simply wanted me alone, all you had to do-_erk_!" A servo roughly latched onto neck cables, effectively silencing the seeker.

"Soundwave informed me that you purposely ignored my comms to allow the raid to fail. That you failed to return to aid us in battle for that very reason."

"Did he now?" Starscream managed to choke out.

"Do you think this is a game, Starscream? Do you think that just because I have allowed you to live this long despite all your treacheries, that you are safe? That I won't offline your miserable spark?" He pulled the seeker's face an inch away from his own, while at the same time loosening his hold around his neck cables.

The jet sputtered slightly. "Honestly, I don't think you will."

Megatron growled dangerously and tightened his grip once more, feeling the cabling dent in his hold. He smirked horribly when the seeker began to struggle, servos clawing frantically at the one encircling his neck. "Do you wish to test that theory?"

Starscream's vocalizer groaned and squeaked as he tried to speak. After a few moments, Megatron slackened his hold again.

"Please, you're not down here to tend to some minor injury or further beat me for whatever wrong you believe I committed." His voice was hoarse and strained, but it still held so much contempt and barely concealed fury. "You're down here because what I said is actually bothering you."

"Bothering me? That slag about how I made you the way you are? Don't make me laugh, Starscream."

"You know I'm right." He sputtered. "_You _made me this way."

"And how, pray tell, did I turn you into a conniving, backstabbing, worthless little fool?" He released his hold on the seeker, and Starscream fell back onto his medical birth, sprawling uncomfortably as he did not have enough time to break his slight fall.

"How long have we known each other, Megatron?"

He had not been expecting the question, but he decided to humor the jet, for the time being. "Far too long."

"We met just before the war truly began. Do you remember how I was back then?"

Megatron let his thoughts drift back to the time when he'd first encountered the seeker, but he did not have to reply. Starscream continued on for him.

"I had just been banished from the Science Academy and I was lost. Alone. No longer with a friend in the world and I was _angry_."

"Get to the point, Starscream, my patience is wearing thin."

The seeker scoffed. "You think I'm telling this story just for a trip down memory lane? Let me _finish_."

Megatron growled, but allowed him to go on.

"You promised me everything I could possibly want and more and though I hesitated, I accepted the offer, as you well know. But, despite being a war build, having a brilliant processor, and being the fastest flyer Cybertron has ever seen, my combat experience was limited. So you trained me and taught me how to _be_ a Decepticon. You bred the deceit and power lust within me and urged it to grow. You taught me to steal, to bribe, to murder my way into being a Decepticon worthy of your brand, to do whatever was necessary to reach the top. And when you promoted me to second-in-command, you expected me to stop. To just turn off everything you made me believe I had to be in order to survive. You expected me to be loyal and _content_. Guess you didn't plan everything out as thoroughly as you should have."

Megatron had no idea how to respond to what Starscream said, so he simply stood there, optics narrowed as he studied the seeker. There was absolutely no denying the truth in Starscream's words, not now. How could he have so clearly forgotten all of this?

"Why do I continue to defy you, oh great leader? Because you made me this way. You ensured that I would always crave more and more power and never be satisfied until I got it. In all honesty, killing me would be within your best interests, but we both know you won't do that. That's why you never did it before, why you always stopped at the last possible second." Starscream was smirking. "Even in the past, you knew deep down in your spark that you created me, as I am now. You are responsible for who I have become. And as hardened and as cruel as you are, you weren't always that way. Which is why I think you took such a keen interest in me, and why you just can't bring yourself to offline me. You saw the old you in me all those millenia ago, the you before all the violence and the rage, when you didn't know what to do with yourself, and you reconstructed me in your image."

Megatron snarled then and lashed out with a roar, wrapping a servo around Starscream's neck once more and yanking him roughly forward until their faceplates were only an inch apart. Starscream struggled weakly, his peds not even touching the floor, and for a brief moment, doubt invaded his optics. Megatron smiled at this, but made no further move. He understood in that moment that he couldn't offline the seeker. No doubt it was thanks to old code still floating about his system, old code that left a trace of _softness_ in him, at least as far as his once protege was concerned. Because Starscream was right, he _was_ responsible. And while offlining the traitorous glitch would be the wise thing to do, he still saw something in the seeker and he just couldn't do it, not right then – not without actual provocation. He couldn't kill him in cold energon.

Without a sound, he let the seeker drop to the floor, where he landed with a clang. Megatron's optics were narrowed dangerously and it appeared the jet understood exactly what he, himself, had just realized. Just because he couldn't kill the seeker after his countless failures, didn't mean he couldn't kill him should he actually become a threat. A silent understanding passed between them, then.

Starscream picked himself up off the floor and made a show of dusting himself off as he stood. "One day I _will_ lead the Decepticons, mighty Megatron, or I'll die trying. You've seen to that."

Megatron turned on his peds and made to leave. He paused at the door to the medbay, but didn't glance back. "And I have no doubt it will be the latter for you, Starscream." He left then, leaving an annoyed, yet oddly mollified seeker behind.

The hallway was empty beyond the door and he made his way in silence to his quarters. It was only then that he realized his servo was still injured, and he made a note to go see Hook after he got some recharge, or rather, _if_ he got any. There were far too many thoughts mingling in his processor at that moment. Foremost, was the fact that he had been forced to accept responsibility for Starscream. There was no concern that anything would really change between the two of them. The seeker would continue to undermine his leadership and try to wrest control of the Decepticons from him, but they both knew that unless the seeker made an outright attempt on his life, then he would not kill him. Really, all that had changed was that they both had a better understanding of where the other stood. Things would go on without anyone else being any the wiser. And at least, Megatron mused, things would never be dull.


End file.
